Akatsuki Note 1
by GloobyBear
Summary: When the Akatsuki find a mysterious intruder by the name of Mello has found his way into their base what will they do? Rated T for strong language.
1. Chapter 1

Pein slept, flopped over his desk, a trail of drool running down his chin. Tobi wonders what he could be dreaming of as he watches him slumber. Maybe his duties as the Akatsuki leader, maybe world domination, maybe Konan. Though these ponderings were quite interesting, Tobi was, regrettably, beginning to get bored with watching Pein sleep. Tobi stood up with a chuckle and pulled a megaphone out of thin air, since the author of this story likes defying the laws of science and shit. Tobi held the megaphone up to his mouth,

"WAKE UP PEIN-SAMA!" he yells with enthusiasm.

"MOTHER FLUBBING SPIDER MONKEYS!" Pein yells as he's jerked out of his slumber. Noticing Tobi standing there, Pein wipes the drool from his mouth in embarrassment.

"Tobi? What's the matter?" he says, regaining his composure.

"Deidara-sempai told me to tell you that there's trouble." he said, grinning at Pein from behind his mask, proud of his achievements. Pein facepalms,

"What kind of trouble?" he asks, in an 'I'm unamused by your bullshit' kind of way. Tobi was about to reply when a wild Sasori appears,

"Pein, someone got into the base… I don't know how…" Sasori said. Pein stood up anger showing on his face,

"YOU INCOMPETENT FOOLS! How could you let someone sneak their way into the base?! Where are they? Who's watching them?!" he yells. Sasori remained calm as he continues in his usual monotone,

"It's some girl, I think, she just appeared. We tied her up, at the moment she appears to be having a swearing contest with Hidan…." he explains. Pein hops around his desk and and runs to the door, Tobi and Sasori trailing behind. Pein flings open the door, and is met the the sight of all the members of the Akatsuki circling the figure of a teenage looking girl with short, blonde hair and rather tight leather garments. She looked… strange… out of place. At the moment she was glaring at a fuming Hidan.

"FUCK-TARD, I SHALL SHOOT YOU!" She was yelling, at the enraged Jashinist. Hidan opened his mouth as if to yell a (most likely highly vulgar) retort, but he was cut off by Pein, who stormed up to the girl.

"May I ask…" he says, with a pointed glare at Hidan, "how you got into our base?" he finished. The girl glared up at him.

"I would be much more fucking talkative if I WASN'T GODDAMN TIED UP!" she shouted. Pein grit his teeth,

"Well, if you don't like the ropes, we COULD kill you…. or you could just talk like a good little captive." he said. The girl fumed,

"Listen bitch, I don't even know where the hell I am. All I remember is that RETARD, Matt, shoving me into that stupid portal of his, and then I land on my ass in this hellhole of a hideout. Happy?" she mumbles. Pein stood there, trying to read her face for any sign of deception. He found none. He sighed, unsure of what to make of this whole situation.

"Well, at least tell us your name…" he said, exhausted. The girl death-glared him for a moment before grudgingly replying,

"Mello… my name is Mello…" the blonde muttered. Pein looked around at his men.

"Well, while I try to figure out WTF to do with you… who wants to take charge of 'Mello'?" He sighs. The various members looked at each other, silently daring each other to step forward. Finally, Deidara raises his hand.

"I'll do it un…" he says, "she is pretty hot, yeah…" he smirks. The girl turned bright red with embarrassment and anger,

"I'M A FUCKING BOY YOU ASSHOLE!" She yelled. Deidara turned redder than Mello. In that moment Hidan bursted out laughing,

"AHAHAHA! OH MY JASHIN THAT'S SO IRONIC-" he was interrupted by a clay bird being thrown at his face. As Hidan goes flying in a rather ungraceful arch, Pein turns back to Mello.

"Well… Mello… for the moment we have no idea what to do with you, so unfortunately we are going to have to-" in that moment a pitch black circle outlined in blue opened right above Pein. A figure drops out of it with a loud,

"OUTTA THE FUCKING WAY!" and lands on Pein's head. Pein lets out a rather girly shriek as he tumbles backwards onto the ground. The mysterious person stands up. It's a young man, with bright red hair, orange goggles, and a black and white striped shirt.

"Sup," he says, "Am I late for the party?" he grins.

Pein (who was currently having his face stood on) had the feeling it was gonna be a very long afternoon.

**AN: **So that's the end of the prologue! Hope you enjoyed, leave a review if you would like me to continue this story! :3 Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Tobi skipped to the makeshift prison cell, carrying a plate of food. He hummed as he knocked on the door,

"It's Tobi~!" He chirped. When he heard no answer he slowly opened the door and peeked inside. The blonde and the redhead were sitting, dejected on the ground. They didn't notice Tobi and continued their whispered conversation,

"I really wish I had my GameBoy…" the redhead, Matt, sighed,

"I don't care about your stupid game, I want chocolate." The blonde hissed,

"I'm getting SERIOUS withdrawal symptoms here…"

"I'm so bored, Mells…"

"Honestly, this whole thing would be so much more tolerable if I had some goddamn chocolate…"

"It would be much more tolerable if I had my GameBoy.."

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID GAME?!" the blonde cried, attempting to wring his hands, unsuccessfully seeing as how they were shackled to the ground. Matt seemed like he was about to reply, when Tobi flung open the door, causing both prisoners to jump.

"IT'S TIME FOR YUM YUMS!" Tobi said, placing the tray of food down on the floor. Matt looked up at him suspiciously,

"This doesn't have viagra in it, does it?" he said, raising one eyebrow behind his orange lenses. Tobi tilted his head, confused,

"Tobi doesn't know what that is…?" he said. The redhead grunted, eyeing the food. The blonde stared at Tobi,

"Why are you feeding us?" he said. Tobi giggled,

"To keep you alive, silly, we can't have you dying on us until we've sucked every once of information out of you!" he said, smiling behind his mask. Mello rolled his eyes. Tobi marveled at the fact that this pretty boy was in fact a male. He was very sassy.

"Well, eat it or don't eat it." Tobi shrugged.

"We refuse to eat your crap." Mello said, crossing his arm. In that moment Matt shot out a hand and grabbed the hunk of stale bread resting on the platter. Mello gawked at him,

"You… TRAITOR!" He said, his voice dangerously low. Mello glanced at him, innocently,

"What? I'm hungry." he said, stuffing his face. Tobi tilted his head as he studied these two's strange behavior.

"Are you two married?" He asked, absentmindedly. Mello turned on the masked ninja, bright red.

"NO! WHAT THE FUCK WOULD MAKE YOU THINK THAT?!" He yelled. Tobi held his hands up in defense,

"Woah! Tobi just thought you act like Pein-sama and Konan-san! They aren't married… but they DO fight a lot, so it's basically the same thing." he finished. Mello glared at him,

"We aren't married, we're just friends, dumbs." He grumbled. Matt stopped chewing and stared at Mello, words reading 'FRIEND-ZONED' practically appearing over his head, and he hung his head dejectedly.

"What's up with you?" Mello asked, bored. Matt was about to answer when the cool, sexy voice of Chrisman Freeman was heard from behind Tobi,

"I believe, your companion there was just 'friend-zoned'…" Itachi said, coming into view. Matt silently marveled at the raven's batman like disappearing abilities. Mello, on the otherhand, was not as impressed.

"And what, may I ask, are YOU doing here?" He said, irritated. Itachi leaned against the door frame,

"I'm here to interrogate you." he said, icily.

**AN: **OOOOOOOH SNAP! Cliffhanger! But not really ^_^; Expect short updates like these. So far I don't really know where this story is going. So leave a review suggesting what you want to see these people do! Thanks for reading! :3


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